All of your feelings are justified
Let your emotional body breathe and mental body be confused
If your physical does not feel safe
Seek help, seek support, seek guidance
Everything is about all of us in some way shape or form, reach out to someone today and let them know that you accept them for who they are. Do not be afraid to initiate the change in the status quo.
I was taught as a child to repress my 'darker' feelings and emotions. To do whatever I could to not 'rock the boat' 'cause a scene'… all that did was leave me with severe anxiety, depression, and unending digestive difficulties.
The key to me feeling better was getting to know my dark side, my shadow, my anger, rage, suicidal ideation. I got to know the side of myself that I was told was 'wrong, unacceptable, inappropriate'.
Through some sort of magic, I turned angry Jamie into the human you see today. I am still hurt, vulnerable, moody, and resistant to receiving love from others. But I have me, regardless of what happens because honestly F*CK convention, to hell with archaic policy, whatever to repressed old world ways of being polite and appropriate. That is not for me and I doubt it is for your either.
Learn to accept yourself deeply and use breaking social convention as the measuring stick for your commitment to inner authenticity.
I'd rather your inner child cause others to question their reality than to have them repress your own.